The Emotion Behind the Face

Crohn's disease along with many other diseases are widely misunderstood as well as unknown. If you were to tell someone you had Crohn’s disease I guarantee you they would ask you what that is. The amount of times I have had to explain the disease exceeds how many fingers and toes I have times five. Everyone’s first reaction is, “Omg you can’t even tell!” Yeah no duh. It’s not like you can see my stomach twisting in knots or getting poked with knives or anything. Im not a cartoon character. Crohn’s disease is one of those disease where you don’t physically see anything wrong so people automatically are confused, but just because you can’t see this it doesn’t mean people aren’t going through it.

In my opinion, and I will admit I am biased, is that Crohn’s disease is the hardest unseen illness to battle. People don’t know your pain because they see anything involving your stomach as just a tiny stomach ache like “normal” people get. In reality, it is far more worse than what everyone interprets it to be. When I get a flare up, people look at me like I have 3 heads or something because they are scared of what they are seeing with their eyes. My flare ups consist of constant pain where I can’t move from a heating pad. I constantly move around for some reason that I still can’t find and I need a hand to squeeze to alleviate the pain. It may not look like I have it on some days but believe me I do and it takes over a big part of my life.

The question I ask myself is why do people feel the need to question someone else’s illness? I myself am a very closed off person and yes I am very vocal about my story but I am not vocal about when I have flare ups. I feel the reason for that is because we are in a world where it isn’t okay to show weaknesses because people, sadly, use it against you. I put on a face when I am feeling any pain of any sort and I don’t show. I can’t vouch for others suffering from this disease, but for me at least I know that I put on a different face than what I am feeling. I essentially put on a mask and that’s where the title of the excerpt comes in. People every day with any illnesses or diseases put on a mask to hide their true feelings. Some find it to be vulnerable while others just want to keep their life out of everyone else’s mouth. I personally do it so that I don’t worry others. When I see others around me worried, I start to become worried as well and then my flare up of Crohn’s gives me a panic attack as well. This combination is not good whatsoever all because of the fact that with anxiety not only is your heart racing but you stomach is also cramping and tensing up, ultimately causing the Crohn’s flare up to worsen.

With the whole idea of masks to hide a person’s true emotions, think to yourself why that person could be doing what they are doing. Don’t always think that they don’t trust you because in the end they could just want to protect you from the reality they have to face. Next time someone talks of an illness, think about yourself if you were in that situation. Put yourself in their shoes and try and understand that just because a person is not showing it, it doesn’t mean they aren’t truly suffering behind that mask.